literature

Quotables

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"Who double stuffed your' Oreo?"
-Arjun

"And furthermore, AGH! I've been stabbed! Gunshot wounds....to the chest....This is John-Bob... signing off.. for the last time...."
-Me interviewing Chris (Lan Merlin) during school elections =]

"A walrus stole my pants"
-me, after a few too many shandys(beer+soda) on new years day

"ELEPHANT!"
-Me to julia on cameron's AIM screenname

"The best part about my 7th grade year was..."
-Something that I should never have said on tape...

"Dog, its whats for dinner"
-Cameron...being Asian, apparently

"Do the Dew. *thump thump"
-Me, to amanda over aim. bordom is such a wonderful thing...

A saying you'll never hear: "Opera music is bitch'n"
-Cameron and I...and its' because nobody who likes it says "bitch'n". Jeez.

"Dude, I suck at small talk"
-Me to CB on the 7th grade trip, after an amazingly short convo. with Natalie

"Nick put down the straws, and back away from the petting zoo"
-Max at the theatre, attempting to save some innocent animals from...me.

"Dude, we gotta get you a perm for your birthday. you'd look hilarious with curley hair"
-Cameron to me, explaining his frullet-y ways

"Oh my god. You ate buffalo?"
"Ya, it was soooo good! like an orgy in my mouth!!"
-me to katie..i love buffalo burgers

"Are you High?"
"I am sooo high. On life. Cerial. i smoked a bong of life."
-Natasha and I, contemplating how high is too high.

"Titties!!!"
-Me, groping a cardboard stand-up of Keira Knightley at the movies

"I am soo hotter than fresh roadkill"
-Me, explaining my attractiveness level to Natasha and Cameron

"LET THE RAIN FALL DOWN, I'M COMING CLEAN!!!"
-Thor, Cameron, Alex, and I: Hardcore Hilliary Duff Karaoke fans

"ARG!!! Cardboard and inky goodness!
-Me, hungry enough to chew on Brandn's Magic Cards

"MY ELEPHANT IS DATING A MONKEY!!!
-AIM gets reallly weird... as you can tell

"Cover your shame man!"
"Huh?"
"YOUR PANTS MAN, YOUR PANTS!"
"Wha???"
"NO UNDERWARE! GOD! AGHHHH! IT BURNS US!"
"Oh..SHIT!"
-ME to cameron at camp..lmao

CSI: Ghetto
"Ok...We've got one dead, two injured"
"Did they get a good look at the guy?"
"No, he wore a mask"
"Well, we at least know he was black"
"What? How can you tell?"
"The victom has a gunshot wound to the top of the head"
-Brandon and I, being racist, but hilarious

"There's no food here!"
-Katie. At the food store.

"I bought a boat? GODDAMNIT!"
-Nick, in a hilarious game of LIFE

"Here's a knife. O.K.- I'm gonna go backhand a wolf"
-Dax, and the Murky the Murloc Game

"It's like giving birth to a liquid baby!"
-Nick, and the biggest piss, ever

"He was just driving, like: ok, i'm done. Then its like: "STACK OF HAY! IN THE FACE!"
-Dax, on flash motocross jump games

"Nothing like a good o'l meatslapper for sound effects"
-Dax, on the same

"Oh ye of little nipples"
-Josh, commenting on Dax's mini-nips

"I'm gonna call you sugar-free tits"
-Josh, also on Dax's dime-sized breast buttons

"If you do ANYTHING naughty, I'm going to make direct eye contact and start masturbating"
-Josh, and his evil, evil threats

"When men aren't around, women make themselves a sandwich. ... Bow-chicca-wow-wow"
-Rei, at a very sexistly silly lunch

"You're assholes, every last one of you!"
"You were in my asshole, every last one of you!"
-Ian and I after being locked in a closet with several other dudes'

"Will you walk me to the door?"
"How bout, instead, I'll rape you to the door."
"..."
-Paige, being her usuial self to my honest little questions

"We need something to replace Cake Mondays"
"Taco bell run Tuesday!"
"The hell? Who wants greasy beef in the beginning of the day?"
-Manny and others in AP World, attempting to fill a void

"If I had a laptop, I'd use it to research... oral traditions"
-Asher, turning story-time into sexy-time

"You wouldn't have sex with your sister, would you?"
"I would, if she were a supermodel"
-Asher and Miss Richards, discussing the fine points of incest

"Raise your hand if you eat meat"
"Raise your hand if you believe in...oral traditions"
"ASHER! IN THE CORNER!"
-Asher, responding to a question, only to be punished by Mirs. Richards

"Viki, your' article analysis is biased, no matter what you do"
"What? Why?"
"Because you see the world through slanted eyes"
-Me, being amazingly racist to my half-asian friendsicle

"So what is an oligarchy?"
"Rule by the leet?"
"E-leet, Asher, the elite!"
-A mix-up in technological empires

"Then the Mayans ripped out your heart from going through your stomach and up under the ribcage. It was still beating and you were alive to see it in front of you, being eaten"
"That would hurt so much, like jeez"
-George, stating the obvious

"Please, sir, take that cocaine to the back alleys where it belongs"
-Asher, on the finer points of smoking crack

"What happens to a woman who ignores her husband?"
*chants* "PUT TO DEATH! PUT TO DEATH! PUT TO DEATH!"
"The code reads: she will be...put to death..."
"Yeah for man-law!" *highfive*
-Manny and every other dude in AP World, celebrating man-ruled society and the woman-hating Code of Hammurabi

“Vikki, I will hug you. With a knife”
-Me, explaining my love

“My name is Ray Peterson, and I'm the sun god”
-Asher, and his odd take on Rae and Ra of Egypt

“I once knew a girl who was just as tall as me, but had a size 13 shoe”
“Dude! She must have looked like a clown!”
“By law, you have to wear this rainbow fro”
-Matt and Paige, discussing the fine points of girls shoes

"If you're lying, I will slap you with my balls in the face. And I'm not even kidding"
-Thomas, not even kidding

“Does anyone else think it's hot in here?”
“We should have a shirtless note-taking session”
-Asher and a dude

*entire class singing* “Asher likes men. Asher likes men.”

“You little turd heads, that was the principal”
-Miss Richards

“Can you imagine what this class would be like if it was all girls?”
“Yeah, you'd all be menstruating, and all of us would laugh”
-Me n' Viki

“Why are Tut's teeth so worn down?”
“they had sand in their food, in their bread. They lived next to the desert, what do you expect?”
“Hehe, sand-wiches”
-Manny/Richards

*Chanting* “Meat! Meat! Meat! Meat! Meat!”
“Go meat!”
-Men and meat


Miss Richards: “Everyone say thank-you to Katie”
Manny: “Thank-you, Katie”
Vikki: “I'm Vikki. Katie is in another class.”
-Manny, saying thank-you to the wrong person

“Even the Italians?”
“Yes, honey, they beasted on them hardcore”
-Miss Richards

“So we see them getting this booty from pillaging...”
“Arr!”
“Boooty!”
“give me thine booty!”
-Class and pirates

“Mulan is such  girly movie for a room full of guys”
“Be a man...have the force of a something, something”
“all the force of a great typhoon”
“be a man- have the-”
“Ok ok thats enough”
-Manny and Asher proving miss Richards wrong

R: “In the ancient world, homosexuality was accepted”
R: “Most leaders had boyfriends along with girlfriends”
A: “King Leonidas....hrm-hrm..”
M: “NO- don't you even say that”
A: “All Spartans to the Hot Gates....hrm-hrm..”
-Asher, miss richards, matt

“This is madness: This. Is. Duck-on-head man!”
-Asher

“And you can be my naughty professor! Hey professor, I need a tutoring session. A naughty tutoring session. A hard, stiff study session. In my vagina.”
-Paige, and her not-so-subtle innuendos

“3ero”
-Miss Richards and her odd Z's

“Well I hope Paige grows a penis”
-Viki, and her harsh insults

I love when George gets riled, you can hear the Asian in his voice. He's like 'Hai Ni Chama Gupta Lili Quing!'  
-Itiallian dude

“Nick, you'd pay to see a Chihuahua humping someone's leg
-Jackson

“Brandon do you have any food in your house?
No but we have a cat
Brandon i don't eat cats! Oh wait, I'm Asian.
-alura n brandon

Mrs Richards: The Spartans were very xenophobic
Asher: Yeah...they hated Xena, warrior princess
-On...no.
“it seems that plumbing is the kiss of death!”
-asher, on the destroyer of civilizaions

“Al Gore and the legend of Man-bear-pig.” -Asher
“And so, in statistics, what can we determine from this bell curve?”
“Grizzly Bears!”

“Thomas...why are you wearing a hat? It's flashback day”
“I'm flashing back to hat day!”
-Thomas, with Randy's genius

Asher: Jessie Owens.
Rest of the class: ....
Asher: Dude! I can silence the class!
-Quiet for the Track Runners!

Brandon: Dude, I had a tortilla.
Nick: You mean tortilla, right?
Brandon: No, its tortilla
Nick: No man, it's pronounced 'tor-tee-ya', not 'tor-till-a'. Spanish L's are pronounced like a Y
Brandon: That can't be right. My grandmother said that thats how they say it in Spain.
-The Mexican L's

Shit! Is that a goose?!
-Nick, talking about the gigantic, dead Canadian goose smack-dab in the middle of the road

Asher: Have my babies, Manny!
Mrs Richards: I'd like to see that if it ever happened
Asher: *vomiting noises*
-On odd hookups

Mrs. Richards: George, you're horrible.
George: I'm not horrible!
Viki: George, you're Asian, that says enough.
-Wow. I taught her well

On the world map, Italy is the boot, and Greece is the crap its stepping in

Mrs. Richards: Asher, that was rude!
Manny: I think we should light him on fire
-Flame on!

I got too much heaven down my throat
-Ellie, referring to Kiersten's “cake”

I'm sorry I left so fast....but I kind of told Paige she could come with us..and then I kinda sorta went to work and forgot about her until she just called.
Dude. Fucking run.
-Me, and my shenanigans

Nick: Yeah, we used to call Mr. Thomas vita men T
Brandon: I get enough vitamins every day
Thomas: I give Rei her daily vitamin *winks*
Brandon: Does she take it once or twice a day?
*Rei holds up 2 fingers*
Nick: Hey, Brandon, I bet it's a suppository

So wait..the Arcadians came from Arcadia? What'd they do, play old video games all day?
-Asher, on old-school gamers

The rolling stones are literally rolling on stage. In wheelchairs. McJagger is a living corpse. He's almost legally a senior citizen
-Asher, on Rock'n chairs

Mrs. Richards: Salt peter prevents you from getting an erection
Asher: Salt peter is now boner poison. Boner poison. Boner. Poison.
Dude: We should give it to 6th graders
-Preventative Intervention

Who doth pray to the crab people in the presence of mandingo?! I shall smite thee with my bronze hammer of steel.
-Asher's gonna smote ya...

Dude: I can't wait to reminisce on this when I'm home. Then my mom can hear me laughing to myself when i'm in my room alone.
Asher: When I'm in my room, I like to make weird noises to myself. Like Glak-glak-laka-a-lak. *snorts*  Then my mom's like 'Asher, are you ok in there?' And I go: 'I'm fine mom, I'm just praying to the Devil. ' Then I, you know, come on out with a pentagram, horns, burning sulfur...
-Awkward Teenage years

We talked about in AP psych how punching a baby kitten is the best form of therapy. Just finding a baby and just PUNCHING the shit out of it
-Asher, on REAL therapy

In the name of God I rape thee!
-Matt, the religious zealot

West-siiiiiidddeeee Roman Empire fo' lyfe!
-Asher, on the ghetto-Romans

Do it or the overhead gets it!
-Asher, on threats

Mrs. Richards: They sacked Rome-
Asher: *interrupting* -over and over and over again until it began chafing
-Everyone loves a good sack

Manny: America is a melting pot, like Rome.
Vikki: I like to think of Rome more as a tossed sallad, because there are different groups of people that are seperate while still intermingled.
Asher: I like to think of Rome as a delicious club sandwich...
-The best analogy. Ever.

Mrs. Richards: By the year 2050 the world's population is predicted to be 9 billion
Manny: Wow! Devide that by four!
Anthony: ....Why?
-Unneeded math

Mrs. Richards: I am helping contribute to the lessening of the population because I have no kids. My husband and I won't be replaced when we die.
Asher: You are a drain on this society!
Manny: I sentence you to six kids!
-The worst punishment ever

Africa is like the final level in Tetris where all the blocks are red
-Asher, referring to a population densiy chart of the world

The echo generation? Generation Y? We should be generation SUCK IT!
-Asher, on the new baby boomers

Nick: I dip my fries in Chile'
Matt: Sing it, brotha
-That country is full of fries

Asher: There was a girl born in India with 4 arms and 4 legs
Manny: Yeah! Apparently because the twin didn't fully form or whatever
Yu: And the limbs attached? MORPHIN TIME!

They were kinda hot, but I mean, they had two heads
-Anthony, on a two-headed highschooler

If I was going to lie on a census, i'd put something crazy, like that I'm 6 and a half feet tall. Oh wait.
-Matt, on his hilarious height

I want to pull a Senior prank where I get 4 chickens and paint them with 1, 2, 3, and 5. Then set them loose in the school. It'll be like, the school is shut down all day as they scream 'Where the HELL is 4!?!?'
-Nick and Matt's master plan

Matt: What is the point of all this?
Max: Have you ever played GTA, Matt?
Matt: Yes, I did yesterday. And I brought a chainsaw into a police station.
-Training a better tomorrow

Anthony: I just want to let you all know that I passed chemistry
Asher: Yeah boi!
*class wildly applauds*
Anthony Wow..I didnt want all that. You all just made me feel like a retard.
-Best classes, best students

Mrs. Richards: Leave that book there, because the young lady I decided to lend it to left it here!
Manny: Is that an analogy for George?
-On the owners of History books

Anthony: Chichen-itza, I choose you!
Asher: Chalupa-tron, go!
-Spanish rip-off Poke'mon are so crazy sounding

Nothing could kill Hemmingway, he had to shoot himself in the face!
-Steven, on the ballsyness of literature

Mrs. Richards: Asher! You're doing your map homework and I'm sitting right here.
Asher: What? I was not!
Mrs. Richards: Asher, I saw your map today when I went to pick them up. It was blank under your desk!
Asher: Well now you're wrong, because now i'm done!
-Homework is  a dish best served late

Anthony: Mrs. Richards, theres this kid I know who wants to join your class
Mrs. Richards: Does he have the brains to do it?
anthony: Yeah. I mean, he's kind of retarded, but....
-unintentional insulting

Mrs. Gwen: I need quietness!
Boyer: Come on now, school cultivates the mind, children! Ho-ho jesus!
-Timeto learn!

Ray-ray-ray-raygonomics
-Steven, on the trickle-down-rap

Mrs. Richards: Race only comes about in India in it's class sytem. The word or idea of race is nowhere else.
Asher: What about in the form of a....foot race?
-Sneaky sneaky

Can I go to the bathroom? I'm hungry.
-The hell, Anthony.

Mrs. Richards: Manny ,were you raised in a barn? Put down your feet.
Manny: No, I was raised in a hut.
-Funny thing is, he was. Mofo born in Africa.

Asher: I was walking down the hall and she  was like, Asher make out with me.
Anthony: Thats funny because the same thing happened to me. Except that it was with manny.
-Dick dick dick dick dick

You can diss my momma, you can diss my country, but if you diss maiden? It's on, son.
-Anthony, on what's truly close to his heart

Nick: Hands-down, crazyist, unfuckable girl ever? Amber sue.
Thomas: She lays fucking eggs, dude
Pickett: I want you to fertalize my clutch -pickett
-Devilwoman

Your one-stop-shop for VD's
-David, on whores and anyone in Durham

You should see when he takes off his pants- women die and men weep in envy
-Josh, on the pickett

Paige: Hi, Hera!
Alura: Paige, I am not your' dog.
Nick: But Alura, you are a bitch.
-Owned, but I was SOOOO joking. I swarses

Ok guys, if you scissor, I'll give you $100 each
-John Pickett, trying to persuade the girls


______________________

Justin: Mrs. Richards, I've seen your' husband. He's a lumberjack.
Manny: What is this?
Mrs. Richards: He is not. He's a landscaper.
Justin: Yeah, he landscapes trees. With an axe. He has a flannel shirt, I've seen it! I saw you both at the hockey game!
Mrs. Richards: Nick, you saw my husband, is he...?
Nick: He is most definitely....a lumberjack.
*class cheers*
-I'm a Lumberjack and I'm O-K

Nick: You know how when you have a beard, you shave along your jawline, right? Well....I want to reverse it. Shave JUST the face, let the beard on the neck grow out.
Matt: the infamous 'neard'.
-Rock that facial hair

Asher: Ok Mrs. Richards, you know the secret of the Mona Lisa? Take the transparency, now turn it upside down.
Mrs. Richards: Ok...
Asher: Now flip it. Do you see it?
Nick: See what?
*pause*
Asher: Nothing! Haha suckers!
-Fooled again

Mrs. Richards: The Massive exposion of protestant sects created what?
Matt G: Lots of babies?
-Homonyms rock

Vikki: Can everyone just be quiet, please? I have a headache.
Asher: *right in her ear* OK THEN.
-On disrespectful respect

Anthony: There is no way a girl wrote that. Too many big words.
Britany: What was that, Anthony?
Anthony: Did I just hear a women speaking without being spoken to?
-Sexism is hilarious
______________
Vikki: Happy Chinese new year! Gong-chi-fat-sai!
Manny: What'd you say about my momma?!
-Watch it, crouching tiger

Nick: Jesus H. Christ!
*Mrs. Richards gives the death-stare*
Steven: Wait, Nick gets a glare for saying Jesus H. Christ, but George gets nothing for saying "I'm Jesus"?
Matt: Yeah, George is Chinese for goodness sakes!
-SO unfair


Mrs Richards: Who was the warrior pope?
Yu: Pope Leo-?
Steven: Ah yes, Pope Leonidis- he led 300 cardinals against 1 million heretics
Nick: their sins would blot out the sun
Matt: So that we may pray in the shade
-The communal joke of History

Mrs. Richards: The early humans did not have access to metallurgy
Anthony: Did you say METAL ORGY?!
-What would that entail?

Rei: oh lawdi I'm with the couples
Nick: couples? theres..only one couple here
Rei: nick, shush, i pleurize everythings
-And that's not all

They almost hunted the beaver to extinction- that noble beast.
-Nick, on the destruction of the savages

Just fond memories...of the sniping, I mean
-Steven, on metal gear subsistance

They have black diamonds?! Im getting my arm made out of them. The end.
-Anthony. And I totally will too

Israel is off the chain. Who decimated all the Arab countries in 6 days? That was Israel. That was Israel.
-Steven, on the who'se-who of the Middle East

Nick: Nuclear famalies rocked. It'd be like: hey uncle jeff's here.
Matt: But then Mom woud scream! NO UNCLE JEFF GET OUT! *BA-boom*
-Isotopes within the blood..thats what do it

I love women, I think they're amazing: just inferior
-Anthony, totally joking. We hope

Josh: Pickett went on the date with Kristine, and if she got there and wasn't pretty enough, Pickett would take his hand and SLAM her face into the pavement.
Ian: Until she was pretty.
-It totally happened that way

David: We have one more controller?
Dax: Dude, if I could crank out a controller, I would
Nick: Like, jack off a controller? Kidney stones would be no problem
IAn: You could like, start a buisness. You can make em for free, a couple a day, then sell them. its perfect
-wow, reading into a joke wayyyyy too much

Daid: who are you, Pickett?
Pickett: Number . Like the poop
-Mxrider2, on Halo

so...essentially you'll all have simultaneous wet dreams in my face?
-Dax....I dunno what was going on there

josh: you think dinsaurs raped each other?
dax: thats what they did . that's what dinosaurs just do
pickett: then they evolved into brandons horny ass dog and rape the shit out of me in the kitchen
-Awkward....

Josh: I think...i think while he's asleep, he should plant a bunch of clues....that point to him killing a hooker.
pickett: like....a body
josh: a body of a dead hooker
pickett: in half. ripped in half. with breadcrums leading to the other half
dax: so he like..ripped a woman in half, moved the body, then ate a sandwich?
-Play clue! Its what you get for fallign asleep, Ian

David: Do you hate the juggernaught dax? do you hate jugs?
Dax: I do! I hate jugs!
Brandon: of course he hates jugs- he's dating katie
-Jeeeeeeez

Thomas, thomas, have you been bangin Ginny for 4 years and laughing at us?
-Josh, on the evil truths? Not really.

So a few of my friends work at a pet store, and they found that you could sell dog treats better if you can tell customers what they REALLY taste like
-Dax. They're crunchy delicious!

Josh: the tiger has been let out of the cage! I repeat: the tiger has been let out of the cage
Ian: I'm too nervous to fucking poop
-After stealing his mom's car and running away

Nick: JESUS! What happened in that bathroom? Where did you guys get the children?
Dax: Children?
Nick: That you sacraficed to summon satan in that toilet? It's the only cause for the smell. I sweat to god, It's like the fecal matter versian of the holocaust. Somewhere in there is a little piece of corn versian of Anne Frank.
-It fucking SMELLED

Hey Kristine. Remember when Ian was alive? Yeah, that was nice.
-Pickett, on Ian and paying the utimate price.

John, if your dick was made of cookies, i'm just sayn, im a fat kid and i'd be all over that
-Vinny, on...deliciousness

Ian: You cannot just use my dads house!
Josh: look, I'll lbelieve you if you tell it to my hard dick. lLook it in the eye and tell it 'no'
-On using Ian's dad's house for Josh and his girlfriend's 'date'

My first exposure to hentai was when i walked into my bros room and saw Krillen from DBZ boning bulma. I was like, what the fuck, is that an episode i missed?
-Vinny, on childhood trauma

Guys, im pretty sure this movie is filmed through the eyes of a smurf
-Vinny, on the overuse of a blue filter

Asher: Nts-nts-nts-nts
Mrs Richards: Asher, have you even ever been to a rave?
Asher: No, but my dad invtned the rave, back in 1972. He told me about it.

Anthony: A banking family more powerful than the Medicis was the Fugger family in Italy.
Asher: Were there any fuggers in the town of butt? Would that make them butt fuggers?
Asher: What if they rode horses?
-Horse Fuggers!

Asher: let them eat cake!
Mrs richardS: she never said that
asher: but she did say this: my name is Marie Antionette
-Historical accuracy

Asher: Suck my balls!
Mrs. Richards: That deserves the corner
Asher: What did I say?!

"I never feel so dirty as when I'm in wafflehouse"
-Katie wins

MRs. Richards: Rotting fesh isn't pleasant
Anthony: Yes it is!
-Is..is he a zombie?

Asher: My sister ate the last pizza roll and I had to hit her.
Anthony: I'd hit that.
Manny: I'd hit that with a rock
Anthony: I'd hit that with a monkey wrench
-Violence, over such a small thing

LETS GET IT ON WITH THE SPANKIN!
-Anthony, on birthday traditions

Steven: Battle pope!
Asher: Cyber pope!
Anthony: Pope prime!
Yu: Disciples, roll out!
-What. The hell just happened?

I know you, so why would I find that shocking?
-Mrs. Richards' anwser to anything

She's got a duck!
-Asher, pledging to burn the witch

God, can you hear me? I need some stool softner!
-Anthony, on martin luther

I dont have a package
-Anthony finally admits the truth

Asher: Are we checking this in class?
Mrs Richards: ...Yes
Asher: Sweet, now i can get my F back even faster
-Realistic optimism

Anthony: OMG STORY!
Mrs. (Stori) Richards: That is my name, yes
-Oh, the puns

Anthony: I'm starting a crew!
Asher: Can i be your first mate
Ricky: No, I'll be your first mate
Asher:I'll swab the poop deck
Manny: Then I'll be Captain Jack Swallows
-Hoist the mast!

One time, my neighbor told me if i peed on my poison ivy, it'd be cured. It didn't. It got worse. A lot worse. And it burned.
-Anthony, with life's lessons.  

In the beginning , there was nothing. Then Chuck norris kicked that nothing in the face and told it to get a job
-Stephen, on the true origin of the universe

Ooh let me feel your tumor and giggle like a girl!
-Mrs Richards, talking about everyone touching the lump in asher's neck

Mrs Richards: Manny, you were gone for 15 minutes! Where were you?!
Manny: Mrs richards in all honesty, if this school would get some double-ply, it wouldnt take that long.
-We need better bathrooms

Nick: Girls and men ain't the same, but they're equel. Girls mature faster, but guys can punch shit hard.
Manny: Girl, let me see you bench 200-something!
Anthony: Yeah, and if you do , you're butch-ugly!
-Either way, you lose

Mrs. Richards: George are you writing on my des-
George: No! WHAT? Who *rubbing desk frantically*
-Not the most subtle artist

Richards: lots of things dun changerover time
Manny: like what?
Asher: Jews
-Amen, mench

Matt: Hi Nick! *chomps shoulder*
Nick: matt, did you just bite me?
Matt: whaat? no. Don't be silllyy.
-That almost made me believe him

Asher: Manny, you're back from looking for Anthony!
Manny: So where's anthony?  
Asher: I mean it man. Anthony got arrested. He called me, and was like, There are cops here, and I have a pound of-
Mrs. Richards: do you know how high you'd get with a pound of anything?
Asher: He had a baloon. Up his pooper.
-Wow

Anthony: There! the doorway to russia!
MRs. Richards: Uh, no. the doorway to the mediterranean.
Anthony: Thats what i meant
-Essentially the same

Mrs. Richards: Who here can speak Spanish?
Asher: quesidillas de casas
Anthony: gordida de les chinampa chupacabra
Mrs. Richards: do you know how offensive that is to people?
-yes, and that makes it even better
Quotes from real life, instead of from AIM. beginning with stuff back from middle school... oh 2004... all the way to the present ^.^
© 2007 - 2024 Deems
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Eldiablo323's avatar
these are god! these are the new bible! new religion! funny thoughts! *name of religion*